So this is a rather hilarious story that has occurred in my rather eventful life and is something that is too precious not to put down on record.. so here goes… 

This is back in the day when I was courting / dating Pooja (my now wife) and it was THE day when i would get her to meet my mother. Was to be on a Sunday at 3pm.

2 small things happened – I forgot to tell my mother that she would be coming home… and we played cricket that day.

So back in the day, Cricket was a standard Sunday morning ritual. A bunch of us college friends (4-5 of us) would play almost every sunday for 3-4 hours. That would be followed by beer (copious amounts of it drunk while sitting in the car, listening to music & talking about movies & cricket (of course)… So that Sunday was no different… and come 3pm, she showed up… with 4 rather drunk guys around me. We stil had not eaten lunch so we dragged her around a bit looking for some place that was open for lunch at 3… finally we found one, ate and walked out… Except one of the guys – a self-confessed Amitabh Bachchan fan and who was a little more drunk than the others decided to jump on me in the middle (well the side) of the road.

Now I was not as big back then as i am now but I was still a big heavy guy so he jumped on me, both of us fell on the road. Just that somehow it came to pass that i fell on top of him. He got up clutching his shoulder and screaming in pain… Pooja kind of freaked out and we all got back into the car and got home… made it up the steps and lay our still-screaming friend on the bed… 2 of my other friends were ‘tending’ to him while Pooja was sitting in the living room… waiting… I then remembered that I had still not told my mother!

So my mom was freaking out coz there was a screaming drunk person in her house with 3 other non-screaming semi-drunk people and it was in that situation that I told her who was outisde and was trying to get her out of my bedroom into the living room to meet Pooja… ROFL!!! She had no clue what was happenein… Obviously, she was freaked. The discussion in the bedroom between friends was – “should we call a doctor” or “should we go to the hospital”. At which point another friend (self appointed Doctor) chimed “Arre this is nothing. This happens to me a lot. He’s got ACIDITY. which is why his shoulder is paining.” ROTFL! 

So somehow i managed to have my mom & Pooja exchange 3 sentences and then she had to leave. I wanted to hang out with her so i told my mother im going to drop her down, went down with her, got into the car with her and decided to drive back with her (a 30-40 min drive)

So my mom is panicking now and she calls a doctor who lives in the next bulding and he asks everyone to come over to the hospital.

Now I wasnt there so the next bit im going to recount is based on what friends told me…

They reached the hospital and our friend was on the casualty bed. The self-appointed Doctor was still on about it being acidity coz of the beer and that the shoulder pain was coz of the acidity. So the real Doctor shows up and my frend-the-doctor gives him some advice about it being acidity too. BIG TIME ROFL!!! Thankfully he ignored that advice.

So, in order to check if there was any concussion, the doctor asked my still-drunk injured friend – “Whats your name?” The answer came promptly “VIJAY DINANATH CHAUHAN, poora naam.” At which point in time the doctor had a completely bewildered expression on his face while the 3 other friends burst out laughing, told the doctor that that meant that the drunk-unjured friend was normal and that he was just too much an AB fan… more ROTFL!!!

So meanwhile I was peacefully hanging out with Pooja, happily unaware of all this hapening… 

Cut to later that night – the not-drunk-anymore friend walks out of the hospital having been treated for a dislocated shoulder joint, his arm in a sling (which he had to wear for the new few weeks i think)… Pretty serious treatment for acidity!!!

So that was an unforgettable experience in my life. I hope all of you have atleast one such experience in yours.

p.s.1 – if the makers of Hangover or Delhi Belly want to use this incident, im available to write it for them 😉

p.s.2 – Names withheld so my friends’ children & grandchildren dont make fun of them…